Twisted Minds
by EndlessSAIKO
Summary: "I want to go somewhere where I can forget to be human. I want to be me again."; EriBato; AU; Oneshot;


**Author's Note:** A sort-of(?) EriBato AU fic. Wasn't sure about the rating, nothing too graphic, so I figured T would be fine. This was spawned from boredom, and I have absolutely no idea where the idea came from. It kind of just came out a few months ago and I just recently edited it.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Umineko no Naku Koro ni, any characters involved, or any other pre-existing form of fiction. All I own is the actual story.

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><p>My favorite spot was the space between his neck and his shoulder, that little crook where my chin would rest comfortably and my ear was right up against him. I liked how it felt to be there. I liked how warm and cool it could be, depending on the weather, on his mood, his physical condition…depending on him in general.<p>

I liked the way he would lean down to let me gain access to my favorite spot when we hugged, or when, if we were laying down, he would reach up and lay his hand on my head when I stayed there long enough. I liked the way he knew that I liked it there without me having to say a word about it.

I liked how if he spoke, I could feel the vibration of his voice right there near me, and how his jaw would rub against my head if he opened his mouth wide enough. I liked how when he laughed when I was there, that was the only sound that filled my ears because I was so close to him.

What I didn't like, though, was how quickly that spot was taken from me. She stole him. She stole my favorite spot. Because, even more than that little space, my sanctuary could be found in his arms, in the way he understood my selfish actions and cruel words weren't what they really appeared to be. I found peace in how, even after he was tired and weak from a long day at work, he would find the strength to carry me to bed when I fell asleep on the couch, and kiss my forehead and whisper good night to me without even a hint of annoyance in his voice.

But then that stupid, blonde slut took him from me. I understood I was no walk in the park, but the fact he could cheat on me, and then _leave me_ so easily, was angering. He had chiseled away the rock around my heart, had made me feel, made me _love_ again, and then he just left. He left for someone who…who…who didn't even have the decency to play fair.

As horrible a person as I could be, he had taught me that playing fair was the right thing to do. He had taught me a lot of human things I'd forgotten. I didn't mind it, when I had him. When he loved me…if he ever even loved me, that is. I was doubting it now.

I was doubting everything. Everything was suddenly a lie after that night. When he hit me, and told me he didn't love me, and to get off of him, my heart had shattered. I was never going to be whole again. There was no one to help me pick up the pieces, and certainly no one to help me hold them in place as I tried to glue them back together.

I saw them one day. I'd just gotten a haircut. I couldn't bear to have that long, blue hair bothering me. Every time I looked at it, it reminded me of him and how often he told me he loved it. So I cut it down to my shoulders and ignored it as much as possible.

They were getting ice cream, and she was wearing some slutty dress, clinging to him, drips of ice cream "accidentally" falling onto her chest. She was such a whore. But she was more attractive than me, most definitely. I was next to flat-chested, and I had no "sexy" curves to flaunt to my advantage. I was so ugly.

I never thought this way before. It was his fault for teaching me how to be human. I would never forgive him for that, ever. All I ever wanted was to be a heartless, successful detective and he had to go and teach me to feel. I hated him for it. I hated him for loving me and then acting like it never happened.

That day, as I watched them, I felt the pieces of my heart grow smaller and smaller. I felt her step on them, crushing them, cackling the way she did when she feigned a laugh at one of his jokes. At least my laughs were genuine, after he'd taught me.

The tears fell on their own, but I rejected them. They fell, but they were empty. Not of sadness, but more like raindrops slipping off the smooth surface of a doll's face. They weren't mine. They weren't even tears.

He saw me. I know he did. I was staring, but not seeing. However, I knew. And I knew he saw the emptiness. And I knew that he knew that it was his fault. I didn't like that he knew. I didn't like that he probably didn't care. And I didn't care if he liked my haircut or not and I most certainly didn't miss the little space between his neck and his shoulder.

And now I'm running. I don't know where. I have nowhere to go anymore. The city is blurring past me, but nothing catches my eye. I want to go somewhere where I can forget to be human. I want to be me again.

And I realize too late that I'm in the street and I ran here without looking, and as I'm thinking this, I suddenly feel pain, and metal is bending around me, and I just take it, because it hurts as much as the pain inside me, and it's simply crashing into me in a different way. From the outside. I can't feel my body, and my head makes contact with the ground, and I _just don't care._

I realize I'm not human anymore. I'm just crunched up bone and mushed up meat.

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><p><strong>Another Author's Note:<strong> I realize the style can come across as rushed and kind of mushed together. That was intentional, as Erika's mind is meant to be distorted and shaken. And there's a shift in tense at the end, which kind of just happened, because it kind of ran together with the rest of the fic to me. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed it!


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